Easing himself down into a chair at the breakfast table, Spy yawned, and ran a hand through his unruly hair, before lighting up a cigarette from the half-empty pack he'd pilfered from Sniper's pants.
Blowing a stream of smoke across the room, Spy studied the kitchenette with mild disinterest. He considered getting up to make himself a cup of tea, but was saved the trouble when Sniper stalked past in nothing but his jeans, and clicked the kettle on.
"You do realise you can operate this as well, Monsieur?" Sniper yawned. Spy grinned as he spotted sharp fangs, and shrugged.
"Why on Earth would I touch it when I 'ave such a handsome rogue to do it for me?" He beckoned Sniper over, and handed him the lit cigarette, removing another from the pack for himself. Sniper grumbled, but slid an arm across Spy's shoulders. Spy grinned, and hugged Sniper closer, his lips pressing against his side.
"You carry on with that sweet talkin'. Think I like it." Sniper leaned down, the tip of the cigarettes touching. Spy sucked on his, willing it to light. Sniper chuckled gently, and pulled back, opening a cupboard and setting two cups on the side.
"I don't suppose you 'eard anything last night, cherie?" Spy asked. Sniper turned around, removing his cigarette.
"You mean aside from all the French swearin' and cussing?" He grinned. "'Arder....'arder...Sniper!" He mocked. "Oh yeah. What's that thing you said last night? Fair la...bet..."
Spy snortlaughed, and covered his mouth. "Did I say that? Oops."
Sniper turned back around to stir the tea he was making. "Spy, you know I ain't quite up with all my French euphemisms. What did you say?"
Fighting back a giggle, Spy pressed a hand to his mouth. "Faire la bête à deux dos..." He took the cup set in front of him, and cleared his throat. "It means...to become the beast with two backs, cherie." Spy sipped at his tea carefully, grinning. "So you didn't 'ear anything last night?"
Sniper sat down, and chuckled. "If it weren't you, I didn't hear anything. Why?"
Spy smirked. "I zhink our Medic and 'Eavy have enjoyed each other in a most intimate manner last night."
Sniper, about to sip his tea, lowered the cup. "Oh really?"
Spy smirked. "Really. Medic is quite vocal when he gets going." He sat up a little straighter. "Well, 'ere's someone who can tell us."
Heavy lumbered across to the fridge. "Good morning, Sniper, Spy."
"Morning. How is the Docteur today?" Spy grinned eagerly, crossing his arms. "Sleep well?"
"Slept like baby." Heavy pointed at the kettle. "Just boiled?"
"Yep." Sniper grinned. "So, did you totally wreck him or did you worship him?"
Heavy tilted his hand slightly. "Little from column A, little from column B." He grinned. "Mostly column B."
Scout rounded the corner and rolled his eyes. "Dude, Heavy! Get a shirt on!"
Heavy laughed, and patted Scout on his head. "Sorry, little man. Doktor is wearing shirt. Is very tired and worn out." He chuckled, and retrieved a sandwich, slicing it perfectly into two triangular halves. "Probably see you at dinner, later."
Spy grinned, and blew a smoke ring out at Heavy. "Give 'im our regards, oui?"
Heavy nodded, and gathered the two cups and the plate. Spy turned to Sniper, and leaned his head against his shoulder. "Shall we go back to the beastmaking?"
Sniper lowered his cup, and smirked. "What round are we on? Five? Six?"
Spy tried to mentally count, but everything had become hazy at some point last night. "Je ne-" He stopped himself. "I don't recall. We'll 'ave to start all over again!"
"Oh, what a shame." Sniper swallowed the last of his tea. "Grab something to eat and come on. If you're good, I'll fuck you in the front of the camper."
Spy's eyes lit up. "Ooh. Really?"
Scout groaned. "What's with all the gay today?" He muttered, flinging boxes out of the cupboard. "Everyone get laid last night?"
"Aw, someone sounds put out. Demoman too busy concocting his bombs to fuck you?" Scout raised a finger, and Spy chuckled. "Maybe tonight!" He poked a finger into Sniper's side. "Are we going?"
"Yeah, yeah. Come on then, if you really want it that bad, sweetheart."